401 by Ben Smith

Author:Ben Smith
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing

Chapter 10

Problems Staying Straight

DAYS 239–249: Milton Keynes Marathon in the can, I make my way up through Corby, visiting 19 schools in and around Grantham, in conjunction with Inspire+, a charity set up to provide quality PE and sport in schools. Spring has sprung, the weather is glorious and the kids are going ballistic. If even just one of those kids is inspired to do something they never thought they could, or gains strength from my story, it will have all been worth it. However, the next couple of days have been playing on my mind for a few weeks now, because it’s time to return to my old school where so many of my demons came into being. I had been asked to give a talk to the whole school by the new headmaster. My old headmaster left a couple of years ago, but what I don’t want to do is stand up in front of all those kids and say, ‘It’s not as bad now as when I was here’, without knowing for sure.

So I arrange to meet with the new head and I say: ‘I’m happy to come and do a talk, but hopefully you’re fully aware of the problems I had here. So I need you to prove that you’ve got all the policies and procedures in place to combat bullying, and that they are being implemented.’ The new head, who turns out to be a lovely man, gives me a heartfelt apology for everything that happened to me while I was a pupil at the school. More importantly, everything the headmaster said they did, they did – it wasn’t just a pile of paperwork in the corner of an office, gathering dust, like it used to be. The school now has counsellors and student representatives from each year group and each house, making sure there is the necessary pastoral care. So while I’m nervous, standing in a chapel full of 400 kids, telling them about all the shit that happened to me while I was a pupil – the relentless bullying, the suicide attempt – it isn’t particularly difficult, because now I have the confidence and determination I didn’t have then, and I know the place has changed.

••••••••••

Pete Smith, Ben’s dad: The school was now focused on the children, rather than profit-driven, and little touches showed how much things had changed. For example, the old headmaster used to have his office in a separate house, but the new headmaster had moved his office into the school, so he could see what was happening every day and the kids could pop in and see him if they had a problem.

Ben will just stand in front of the audience, with no props or PowerPoint or any of those crutches that people use, and tell people his story. He had a good time that day; he pulled no punches, talked about his bullying and suicide attempt which can be quite harrowing for people to hear, and answered everybody’s questions absolutely honestly.

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